puppet master or close friend

OK so I have two predominant views about who God could be: puppet master or a close friend. The puppet master is a completely sovereign God who is responsible for all actions and movements in life. This God is in complete control of our every move and enjoys toying with us. We are basically here for his entertainment. This is what I think about when I think of the word “sovereign.” In fact this logic tends to lead me to be very angry with God. I blame God for everything that happens to me, because it is just a test for his selfish desires. God becomes my own personal big bully. When I think of God as a puppet master I become very disinterested and tend to not even care if he’s there. The close friend is the God I find comfort in. This version of God tends to warm my heart. A God that cares about my goals, my races, my feelings, my thoughts, my accomplishments, my frustrations and cares about it very deeply. When everyone else just shrugs me off with a pleasant little smile and nod, he cares with passion and excitement. In the midst of a sea of faces I know I am special to him. I may be average and non-existent in the world, but God cares beyond what any of my closest family and friends could ever care. God knows who I am beyond just perception. This is God I have hope and faith will be there to rescue me from the hands of death…