Hello again

I have taken a little break from everything lately. I haven't posted lately. Really, I haven't been into life lately. I know I might sound down and out to a lot of you, but I think I just needed some time to grieve. I think we have to go through a grieving process with any loss. I really felt like a big piece of my dreams was crushed during my wrestling match with God. I didn't even know who I was anymore. I was so determined and excited that it broke my heart when my possible future career was yanked out from under me. I became very depressed and took an honest inventory of my life. People have swarmed me and told me that God still loves me. I felt like a little kid being pitied for scrapping his knee. Honestly, I didn't want to hear it. I kept thinking to myself, then where was He when I needed him? I grew tired of talking to everyone and having to explain my emotions over and over again. I just needed time to know if I could ever trust God again. I can't say I'm fully over it yet, but I think I am honestly starting to grow again. With a little help, I'm getting past the grieving process. Trusting God is starting to make sense again.

I would like to say a special thank you to my wife for understanding. When everyone else thought I needed to be more spiritual, you supported me living through real emotions. Thank you for being my best friend.