A seemingly absent God

My dad sent me an email today about signs. He asked himself: if God is real, why doesn’t he just give me a sign? He had an epiphany. Could his sign be his life? He’s still married, he’s healthy, he’s not poor, he’s got a great job, etc…

I’m impressed with his thought. I am currently struggling with this same issue. I am not so sure I want to trust and believe this seemingly absent God. To me, right now, he seems absent. I don’t feel his presence. I don’t hear his voice. I’m not so sure I want to believe the bible is all he has to say. I don’t feel forcibly moved by him. I’m not even sure he exists. In a recent sermon I heard, the pastor talked about authority. What governs my life? Is it the bible, the word of God, or is it something else? There are two types of unbelief: 1.) Ignorance, just not knowing the truth, 2.) and knowing the truth but choosing not to believe it. I found myself in awe of his view of the bible. For a moment in time, I wished I were him. Just so I could trust something that whole-heartedly. But I obviously have control issues. Do I have the authority over my life or does God? For me the answer is simple. I want the control over my life, because I’m not so sure I can trust a seemingly absent God. I want a sign… But maybe my dad is right. Could my very existence, my life, everything I have been given, be my sign? Have I grown so accustomed to seeing God in my life that I no longer see him? And really if God showed me a sign wouldn’t I just want another one?